Pink Vomit

The Avengers Season 5, Episode 1 "From Venus with Love"

The title of this post is the nickname that I have been giving to all Valentine's Day related merchandise (see below).

Sometime between Christmas and New Year's Eve, 

Target started lining up all of their Valentine's Day merchandise.

(FYI, St. Patrick's Day merch is also out now too.)

 pink vomit at Ikea on New Year's Day

These red/pink things can be likened to "pink vomit," a sort of ugly, (abhorred) kitsch of a mess, that ironically makes of me think of Pepto-Bismol because of its color. I realize that not all "pink vomit" is necessarily "pink," but I rather call it "pink vomit" because "red vomit" sounds like a horror fest in the back of someone's car, as if it's a problem beyond alcohol poisoning. There is just so much crappy, poorly designed pink vomit out there in stores. I remember seeing a giant red lips-shaped pillow hanging on a string and thinking, "Who's the poor sap who's going to receive this and have to pretend that he/she loves it?"

Truthfully, I'm not entirely sure if I like or loathe Valentine's Day; I'd say that I'm ambivalent towards it. To me, Valentine's Day isn't a real holiday - it's more of a commercialized excuse for us to buy overly sentimental stuff and perhaps indulge yourself and your loved one(s) with pro-diabetic sweets (of which I am entirely guilty of).

Valentine vomit in I Hate Valentine's Day (2009)

anti-Valentine's Day comradery in I Hate Valentine's Day (2009)

I miss those days when I was in elementary school and all Valentine's Day meant was pretty much playing You've Got Mail with your own white paper bag decorated with red and pink hearts, shapes, and things, and passing out candy Scotch-taped on to the back of cute kiddie Valentine's Day cards like a little mail carrier.

cute kiddie Muppets Valentine's Day card from my co-pilot

Valentine's Day was like Halloween except with a totally different color scheme and without the pressure to dress up - plus there was no need to walk from door to door for candy because you'd be passing out candy in the classroom. Valentine's Day cards were like cute little corny trading cards. You can compare them with your friends and say things like, "Which one did you get?" and "Ohhh, I like that one!" Juvenile, I know, but they're nice childhood memories for my sentimental heart.

Then when it came to middle school and high school, Valentine's Day was the day when you'd see how many of your friends shelled out money for candy grams just so the people who passed them out could announce that you've received a candy gram or two, which gives you about ten seconds of attention from your class.

It's not like I have never been romanced in my life before, because I have, but Valentine's Day is plain annoying. About two years ago, I used to be like this lady:

Genevieve, played by Nia Vardalos, passing out V-Day goodies

to local strangers in I Hate Valentine's Day (2009)

Back then, I decided to embrace the dreaded Pink Vomit day because in my opinion and from past experiences, it's easier to face something and accept it rather than ignore it as if it didn't exist. I baked cupcakes, I passed out things, I did the whole shebang (oh god, I think some people thought I really loved Valentine's Day when I actually wasn't enamored with it - I just didn't want to feel like shit, guys... or have the people I'm surrounded by feel like shit either). The sentiment behind these actions was that even if someone is not romantically attached to anyone, that doesn't mean that person is any less worthy to receive attention from a friend or co-worker on such a stupid commercialized faux-holiday.

Valentine's Day could be a double-edged sword depending on how you see it. On one hand, it supposedly promotes the idea of "love" and encourages people to express that love; on the other hand, it could be a day of hell as described by the character Genevieve in I Hate Valentine's Day (2009):

"It's just a day of pressure, isn't it? I mean, even if you're in a relationship, which I'm not, it's just a day that makes you feel inadequate. Am I doing enough for this person? Did I get a big enough gift? Do I even know this person?"

In response to this quote, I've been there before, with another girlfriend actually when both our boyfriends didn't say Happy Valentine's Day. We brooded and had a nice night of drinking. The way I see it, for people who are in relationships, as long as you make your significant other feel like a somebody rather than an anybody or a nobody, you're good. The idea is to make that person feel special because feeling special (different from anyone else that you have been with before aka an exception), wanted, and maybe needed is the incentive that drives someone to want to stay with you.

pretty images from Paramore's "The Only Exception"

(I am definitely in love with her fiery hair!)

This father-daughter talk about dating etiquette during the "olden days" sums things up:

Sally Field as Gidget (Season 1, Episode 12 "Chivalry Isn't Dead")

Dad: [I]n the olden days, the thought of dating was the challenge, the uncertainty. We couldn't take a girl for granted. We had to woo her, pursue her - be considerate, charming."

Gidget: And if you weren't?

Dad: She went out with someone who was.

So my plans for this year's Valentine's Day? I have no clue. Maybe I'll head over to the ONE Archives that day? shrug. I just know that no matter how annoying Valentine's Day ads and merchandise are, you have the ability to control your own attitude and how you act so make your outlook on this commercialized holiday a good one. By all means, make yourself some cookies if you want to. I might do that actually.

Or if you're really into Valentine's Day, you can draw some inspiration from the Smurfs:

Smurfs Season 1, Episode 9 "Romeo and Smurfette"

Oh yeah. Don't do this. Really. Don't. Do. This:

from I Hate Valentine's Day (2009)

Oh god, RUN NOWW!

Avanti!

Resolutions from Bridget Jones' Diary (2001)

Instead of coming up with New Year's resolutions that I know I won't keep, ensued by a not so surprising sting of disappointment, I decided to compile a list of tidbits of advice/wisdom from people I know, books, and films as well as things I came up with to take with me into the new year.

1. "Never lose your childish innocence. It's the most important thing."

-Katherine in Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)

This isn't to be naive but to keep a sense of childish curiosity and playfulness that is invaluable and could be easily lost with an accumulation of cynicism as we get older.

childish innocence channeled by Chaplin-esque Giulietta Masina as Gelsomina in La Strada (1954)

2. Not happy with something? "Fix that!" -Amanda 

(Co-pilot, remind me to get you a wrench that has "Fix that!" engraved on it one day.)

Disney's Handy Manny who happens to look like my friend George

 

3. "Guys are all bastards. Every guy has a bit of bastard in him." 
-Katy Perry-loving manboy

I take this piece of advice with a grain of salt. It also goes the same for girls. Every girl has the potential to do something bitchy. "Even angels have their wicked schemes."

4. Maybe is a vicious word that can toy with your mind. Just because you hope for a yes rather than a no doesn't mean that the possibly of something not happening won't occur.

Arrested Development Season 1, Episode 12 "Marta Complex"

To minimize disappointment, expect nothing rather than something because gambling on someone else's perhaps, perhaps, perhaps might bring forth even more disillusionment. Easier said than done, I know. Don't believe in false promises and don't reach for false hope because it usually doesn't pay off in the end.

5. Don't make excuses for someone else's behavior. It's not your job to do so and you're certainly not responsible for someone else's lack of consideration or misbehavior.

6. "In every bit of honest writing in the world, there is a base theme. Try to understand men, if you understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and nearly always leads to love. There are shorter means, many of them. There is writing promoting social change, writing punishing injustice, writing in celebration of heroism, but always that base theme. Try to understand each other."

-John Steinbeck in a 1938 journal entry

7. If there's something you'll regret not saying, say it before you can't say it anymore because it's better to be an honest idiot rather than an idiot who stayed silent hoping for a chance at something.

8. "Don't ask for guarantees. And don't look to be saved in any one thing, person, machine, or library. Do your own bit of saving, and if you drown, at least die knowing you were headed for shore."

-Faber to Montag in Fahrenheit 451

Grand Gestures

date night in Lady and the Tramp (1955)

In high school, I used to be one of those females who hated it when guys paid for meals. I never wanted to be seen as or act like a gold digger (or as Gloria from Modern Family calls it, "coal digger"), and I still don't. It never seemed right to me for guys to be the default person to pick up the tab. I suppose it's the song and dance of dating in the heterosexual world - like how peacocks show off their pretty feathers to peahen to get their attention (see below). 

Then I dated someone who wanted to "take turns" paying for food, which was supposed to be a modern take on relationship spending but turned out to be a guise for the guy to be greedy by picking out the largest, most expensive portions of food whenever it was my turn to pay for things. I was unlucky enough to be smitten and blind as a bat; smoke definitely got in my eyes.

This one experience most likely set me up to appreciate it when/if a nice man goes out of his way to pay for me to be comfortably full and indulge my sweet tooth. We all have bills to pay (unless you're rich, then that's another story) and so it's a doubly nice and grand gesture when someone treats you to a nummy meal. Last week I've been obsessed with Cee Lo Green's "Fuck You" song and this line of lyrics from that song sums up what men who do pay go through: "being in love with you ass ain't cheap." If a man opens the door for me, or pulls out a chair for me to sit in, I would probably be thrown off balance and have to take a long minute to realize what just happened. To be perfectly blunt, I am so used to men without manners and lowering my standards in this regards that I'm flabbergasted to find out that men who open doors or pull out chairs for you do exist when such things do happen. I only wish I could be as poised and charming as Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn, but I'm not - I'm actually quite loud (indoor voice, Jess!) and I wouldn't be surprised if strangers catch amusing (and sometimes shocking) sound bites from me.

Grace Kelly in Hitchcock's To Catch a Thief (1955)

 

January Jones as Grace Kelly-esque Betty Draper in a Vanity Fair Mad Men photo shoot

"Suddenly feel like a screen goddess in manner of Grace Kelly" -Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)

I'm hoping that whoever ends up with me will find my clumsiness and somewhat self-deprecating awkwardness to be endearing - because there's probably no way I can transform myself into Pretty Woman (1990) like Julia Roberts overnight; we can't all be like "Cinder-fuckin'-rella" like in the movies.

(Before) Julia Roberts as Vivian Ward in Pretty Woman (1990) in hooker mode

Etiquette training: "Elbows off the table. Don't slouch."

(After) Voilà! Cinderella going to the opera.

It's not like men with manners are some kind of extinct species (i.e. dinosaurs) or mythical creature (i.e. unicorns, or special horses with horns); it's like finding a four leaf clover when you least expect it. If you're a gentleman who has manners, take a bow please... but don't be so cocky about it ;) - you're not a peacock, sir.

Chicks, and Birds, and Sirens, Oh My!

Natalie Portman as the Black Swan (2010)

When it comes to animal representations of females, why is it that women are so closely associated with birds? A sexually attractive female is often referred to as a "bird" in British slang (i.e. "That bird is fit!"). Young women are also called "chicks" (as derived from "chicken"). In fact, in Cantonese, the word "chicken" could be used as a slang for "prostitute." A group of loud and possibly gossipy women (or in How I Met Your Mother's case, "woo girls") is sometimes referred to as a group of "cackling hens." For some great examples of cackling hens see/read Clare Boothe Luce's The Women (1936), but please don't watch the 2008 remake with Meg Ryan in it; if you want to watch a remake of The Women (1939), you can watch the musical remake The Opposite Sex (1956).

Before there was The First Wives Club (1996), there was The Women (1939).

In Greek mythology, the Sirens are lethal half-women, half-bird creatures who entice men to their island with their irresistible songs, only to lead men to their demise. To me, these females are a few of the original femmes fatales - way before Rita Hayworth did her "Put the Blame on Mame" striptease and Glenn Close and Michael Douglas were caught in some Fatal Attraction (1987). Sirens are often confused with harpies in Greek mythology who are also winged bird-women. Usually there are 2-3 sister sirens, who are also daughters of the river god Achelous, and the Harpies (Aello, Celaeno, and Ocypete) are sisters of Iris, a messenger to the gods, and daughters of the air nymph Electra. In terms of beauty and temperament, I always got the implication that sirens are fair but deadly maidens while harpies are scary, vicious scavenger-like bird-women, especially after having read Sartre's play Les Mouches (The Flies) which warrants a slight shudder.

John William Waterhouse's Ulysses and the Sirens (1891)

François Perrier's Aeneas and His Companions Fighting Harpies (1646-47)

 I was honestly a tad afraid to Google images of harpies, knowing how grotesque some representations of harpies are. It's interesting how some people imagine harpies as ugly female gargoyles.

Going along with the idea of sirens, I love how my favorite feminist author Margaret Atwood wrote a poem called "Siren Song." She is one witty Canadian :0). My favorite part of her poem is when the siren speaker lures her readers with "Shall I tell you the secret / and if I do, will you get me / out of this bird suit?" as if that siren could feminine masquerade out of being a winged temptress. I would talk about females represented as winged sphinxes but I could easily go on a long tangent on the topic of women represented as felines. Let's not deviate from the main topic... I'll save the discussion on sphinxes for a rainy day. Anyways, on with more females as birds...

In Kate Chopin's The Awakening (1898), the small place that protagonist Edna Pontellier decides to make her own is called a "pigeon house" simply "because it's so small and looks like a pigeon house" (619). Edna even identifies herself as a birdlike creature when she talks about her time spent with Madame Reisz to one of her beaux:

"Well, for instance, when I left her to-day, she put her arms around me and felt my shoulder-blades, to see if my wings were strong, she said, 'The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth.'" (617)

Other references to females as birdlike creatures include Evelyn de Morgan's painting The Gilded Cage (1919); it serves as an allegory for a trapped female housed in comfortable surroundings, a "gilded cage," in contrast to the fluttering bird she appears to be reaching for outside her window. On a random note, this painting makes me think of young Jenny in Forrest Gump (1994) praying, "Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here." It's a different situation for young Jenny since she's living in an abusive environment, but nevertheless that line from Forrest Gump still captures the same desperate feeling of being trapped that The Gilded Cage conveys.

The Gilded Cage (1919)

As for contemporary literature that alludes to women as birds, Maya Angelou wrote an important African-American and women studies autobiographical sketch called I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969) that I have yet to read. Although she wrote poem with the same title and with the caged bird referred to as a "he," it is an interesting read if you'd like to check that out. Please keep in mind that I am not a Maya Angelou expert and am embarrassed that I still have not read anything by her yet, but I absolutely welcome any Maya Angelou recommendations :0).

 a postcard I bought a long time ago

Truth be told, I should have taken up Women Studies as a second major when I was an undergrad but you know what, that's okay cause having too many shoulda, coulda, woulda thoughts leads to unnecessary discontentment and disappointment :P. I know Women Studies have that whole stigma that females who specialize in that field are all misandrists, but just to set things straight, I don't hate men... although this one Christina Aguilera song called "I Hate Boys" is a pretty catchy misandrist tune ;). Sometimes I can get frustrated with men but that's only cause they puzzle me so.


In the famous ballet Swan Lake, a spell has been cast on the character Princess Odette, which transforms her into a swan by day and allows her to keep her true human form at night. I'd be happy to see a live ballet performance of Swan Lake, but so far, my main exposure to the Swan Lake story comes from the animated feature The Swan Princess (1994), something I used to rewatch as a kid.



I'll end this post with a nice and more familiar "bird" reference from Love Actually (2003), a movie I really should own but don't. Throughout this film, Laura Linney's character Sarah has been pining for her ridiculously good-looking co-worker Karl (played by Rodrigo Santoro). When she finally gets a chance to become even more familiar with Karl, the non-diegetic song played in the background of this intimate scene is Eva Cassidy's "Songbird," which implies that Sarah is a song "bird," metaphorically cooing or rather tweeting sweetly for Karl to love her. Speaking of tweeting, I'm probably going to tweet link this blog post on Twitter as soon as I'm done writing it.

Perhaps the most rewatched scene in Love Actually - mainly because of Rodrigo Santoro.

In the words of Sarah, said in a totally different context of course, and in regards to all life's possibilities, I'm "[f]ree as a bird. Fire away."

La Vie en Technicolor?

The reason why I love watching films like The Red Shoes (1948), All That Heaven Allows (1955), and Heaven Can Wait (1943) is because vibrant, gorgeous colors in Technicolor pictures such as those give me warm fuzzies as I stare at the screen in awe. Sometimes I really wish I had a BluRay player so I can watch those films properly, but then again, part of me is convinced that DVDs and BluRay discs will eventually become obsolete and be replaced by smaller, even more compact data storage devices like USBs. Part of the reason why I love Technicolor is because I love beautiful things and when you see color like that on film, it makes you understand why someone like Todd Haynes would emulate that visual style in Far from Heaven (2002) or why the people who worked on Pushing Daisies (2007-2009) used such exaggerated bright colors; I'm guessing they do it because candy-colored visuals trigger a sense of wonderment in people.

Pushing Daisies

It's a pity that it only lasted for 2 seasons :0/

Since we don't live in a Technicolor world, and of course most of us aren't rich, we find beauty in the simple things in life. For example, as someone who likes collecting quotes, and listing movies watched and books read in notebooks, I try to purchase notebooks that I find visually stimulating or at least decently pretty. Here are 3 out of 4 notebooks I use regularly:

I only ordered something once or twice from Turner Classic Movies and ever since, I've been getting mail from them. This is a mini catalog I got from them recently that I thought had an especially nice holiday cover. The focus is on Jean Harlow because I love her and she happens to be one of my Classic Hollywood female favorites ^-^.

I woke up and found myself with a sore throat this morning and so I've been drinking lots and lots of tea (pictured is Stash's strawberry pomegranate herbal red tea below) in my childhood Snow White cup. The reason why I have this cup instead of the Sleeping Beauty one that my sister has is because my parents used to call me Snow White in Cantonese when I was a little girl. Before puberty reared its ugly head, I had hair as black as ebony and fair, snow white skin (also meaning that I was a pale little kid).

I confess, this post turned out to be an excuse to indulge myself and have fun taking pretty pictures of things around my room, including these pjs, but isn't it so much more pleasant to surround yourself with brightly (hopefully not tacky) colored things, even if they're tiny little things?

Sass and Spice: A Pastiche of "Wants"

In the words of the Spice Girls, "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want." I want men to be more direct than they actually are so I know I'm not groping (or dancing) in the dark, only to find my way out (the exit sign glows in the dark). When anyone is tip toe-ing around me, seeming like they want something but not articulating what they want from me, it bothers me. It's like playing body language charades with passive aggressive people; I'm not well-versed in body language (and mind reading)... plus I don't want to guess. It's like working in customer service again: mister/ma'am, I can't help you unless you tell me what's going on. Throw me a bone please... or better yet, please toss me a Krispy Kreme donut; I crave sweet things :D.

Also in the spirit of "wants," Liz Lemon says what I'm not brave enough to say to men:

"I don't want to hurt you. But I'll tell you what I do want. I want someone who will be monogamous and nice to his mother.

Anthony Perkins in Psycho (1960)

well, definitely not him.

And I want someone who likes musicals but knows to just shut his mouth when I'm watching Lost.

Gene Kelly in An American in Paris (1951)

Hot daaaaamn.

And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed, like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince.

Prince Phillip in Sleeping Beauty (1959)

I think he likes what he sees.

And I want him to genuinely like me, even when I'm old.

Source

Ma and Pa Newman, probably in on some inside joke. cute :)

And that's what I want." (30 Rock Season 4, Episode 17 "Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter")

There are so many wants, needs, and desires in our lives. Is it possible for people to be content with this excess of wants? Are we setting ourselves up for disappointment, or is it good to be idealistic? I suppose asking what someone wants in life is a loaded question; I'm not entirely sure what I want either, but I do know what I don't want, and so perhaps I can filter out all the unwanted things and find out what are the things I do want in my life. "Want" is such a selfish word, but at least it provides some general direction or guidance for what works for people when it comes for them to make decisions. Wants are always battling the shoulds in our lives; but hey, it's a decision making factor. It's good to know what you want, and it's good to know what makes you happy, even if it's for five minutes.

Kyle Chandler: Love the Way You Coach

In anticipation of Friday Night Lights' final season starting soon, I've decided to pay a short and sweet tribute to Kyle Chandler. It's already great enough that there's some fantastic writing in FNL (best lame teen pick-up line ever: "I feel closer to God when I'm with you"), and then... there's Kyle Chandler, playing Coach Eric Taylor. Don't be fooled by his mesmerizing far-off stares and his puppy-dog eyes; that man will tell you what's what and what position to play in football... and how. As a firm, direct, honest, and wise (too many adjectives, perhaps? haha) coach, he not only wins his team's respect but also our affection/admiration for him as viewers. With a killer combo of being an awesome coach and great family man with endearing eyes and some pretty compelling speeches, how can you lose with Kyle Chandler in FNL? Answer: You can't. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.

Chandler as Eric Taylor, dozing off on his tot's teddy bear.

Do you see a resemblance between the two?

Chandler in some puppet action

an earlier edition of Kyle Chandler in Early Edition

I love a man who reads ;)