A Letter for No One

Dear Future Significant Other,

I've decided to give you a few tips and warnings on how to handle me with care, unfortunately with a major disadvantage of not entirely knowing who you are or when you'll get here.

one. If my heart could be a person, it would be a boxer. Although it has been in the ring many times before, the many blows your sex has given me has left my little organ of a fighter with some lasting scars. My heart has been glued back together, scotch-taped, and covered with band aids over and over, and I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't hurt me on purpose (though I completely understand that couple's quarrels are inevitable). It's a complete contradiction, but my little boxer is simultaneously strong and fragile, meaning that it's experienced in the battlefield of "love" or whatever you may call it (though the word "love" really does make me cringe at the moment) and at the same time, there's a lot of wear and tear. Right now my heart is bubble wrapped. Let's hope it won't fall into a Humpty Dumpty situation at all in the future.

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two. I would hate to sound like a Letters to Cleo song, but "I want you to want me," and if you do want me, you better show it, mean it, and earn your way to deserve my affection. I don't care if you're not an alpha male; it is definitely not a plausible excuse for a lack of initiative especially since I do not consider myself an alpha female but yet I do try to do something if I honestly liked someone instead of acting like I'm waiting in a castle for some guy to find me. Time is of the essence and chivalry on the guy's end at this point in time has died for the most part. As Judy has said to Betty in White Christmas, "You can't leave everything up to fate. Just like honesty needs a little plus, fate needs a little push." So do not be afraid to be a little aggressive. If you go overboard and start stalking me, I will get a restraining order on you. Believe me, I will.

three. Whoa, those first two things are kind of heavy. Here. Take a breather. Here are some trivial things that you could do to make me happy:

a. I love (good) surprises! I love it when people go out of their way to be creative and make their own cards, presents, and things. I always preferred physical mail over electronic messages because they're tangible and they have gone through a journey to get to me. Sometimes I wish it's still possible to receive telegrams, but those days are over. I'm sorry, but I'm sentimental like that. Oh please adore me.

b. If you tried to lasso the moon for me like Jimmy Stewart did for Donna Reed in It's A Wonderful Life, you will have a very special place in my heart. It's A Wonderful Life is tied with Hitchcock's Notorious as my favorite film.

c. It makes me very happy that you actually pay attention to what I like and it shows when I least expect it. Here are some starter tips if you are desperately a noob:

Favorite color: baby blue - because I grew up watching Cinderella - and yes, that happens to be my favorite Disney animated movie as well.

Favorite flower: yellow daffodils

Chocolate preference: milk or white chocolate - I adore truffles and butter cream chocolates!

Favorite book: Tess of the d'Urbervilles par Thomas Hardy

Favorite director: Alfred Hitchcock (Francois Truffaut and Pedro Almodovar are runners up)

Favorite fruit: cherries

d. Wear a suit. Oh please do. It will melt my heart a wittle. Suits make men look so much better.


e. Be hygienic and smell good - because I have a thing for men who smell nice. A habitually clean man is so hard to find.


f. If you can cook, show it off. I love it when a man can cook, and plus I love eating.


four. Try to be tactful and don't constantly tell me that other female celebrities are hot. The truth is that if those certain females are bonafide bombshells of attractiveness, I'll most likely agree with you. 

par exemple

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hot. stunningly gorgeous would be the correct phrase actually

not hot. a butterface with she-devil eyes

The downfall of always verbalizing those kinds of thoughts is that it will cause me to suspect that you're really not that into me, and if that's the case, then you won't see me again and all you'll have left is your secret stash of pornos.

Coupling Season 3, Episode 1 "Split"

five. I will be brief when I list these things only because I think you should earn your way into finding these things out for yourself.


Signs that you either gained my trust or I have invested some serious emotions in regards to you:


a. I sing to you (sober).


b. I give you a one-of-a-kind gift that was handcrafted by moi.


six. I apologize beforehand for hurting your feelings by being blunt. If I didn't care about you or feel comfortable with you at all, I would have sugar coated everything I said instead and then you wouldn't grasp my unusual sense of random humor. I only do it because that's how I am. I speak my mind. I'm a bad liar and so I don't bother with lying. I try my best to be genuinely honest and I hope you respect that.


Well, hon, smile a little bit more so I would smile back at you when you do. Don't fret. I'll meet you eventually. It's more a matter of when, where, and how. Honestly, I could have met you in a sandbox, or I could have passed you on the sidewalk. Well, until we meet, I'll be keeping myself busy and making myself more and more awesome than I am now. Maybe you'll find me reading This Side of Paradise at a coffee shop? In any case, we shall see. Que sera sera.


Eventually yours,
Little Miss Sweetheart

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Todo Sobre Mi Sobrino (All About My Nephew)

(okay I lied. It's not all about my nephew. The title's there so I can flaunt my love for Almodovar and also to celebrate the little man's birthday.)
Brandon, 3 days before turning 2-years-old

(Please excuse the annoying auntie voice! - which... happens to be mine -__-lll)

Hello! I am back from my impromptu blogging hiatus. I was a major master lagger for the past few weeks primarily because

a) I came up with too many things to write about (and I found too many wonderful quotes from books, plays, and movies. Oh Tennessee Williams, how I adore you.), and so I was somewhat overwhelmed (yes I need to make a list!) I've been fiddling with the idea of starting a broader, non-food blog about gender studies or anything interesting about females and the opposite sex (no promises on whether or not I might create another blog! but I am definitely curious about starting another one though, or maybe restructuring this blog so I'll feel less guilty for going off topic). I might call it "Don Juan or Some Guy Who Won't Commit," mainly because I've been having this fascination with the idea of Don Juan and womanizers since spring quarter of last year. Last fall, back when I was planning to apply for film studies graduate programs (which I ended up realizing wasn't for me), I proposed a possible (and pretty undeveloped) dissertation idea, which is to write about the mythical Don Juan and other womanizing characters in film who as most male voyeurs do, actively fix their gaze upon female objects.

"A possible dissertation idea that I may look into is the literary character Don Juan, his presence in film, and other films that focus on a male libertine surrounded by an assortment of women such as 8 ½ (1963) and L'homme qui aimait les femmes (1977). I would question why the spectator is expected to accept and objectify the images of women in these films, and also why the idea of a male libertine is celebrated in literature and cinema when a female Don Juan is scorned in films such as Female (1933) and She's Gotta Have It (1986)."

Classic Hollywood's representation of Don Juan

Errol Flynn is much more beautiful without a mustache :/

an old Don Juan realizing the impact he has/d on the women in his past

Double standards interest me. Why is Guido in 8 ½ (1963) a more sympathetic character than Emma Bovary in Madame Bovary? Although I strongly do not condone cheating, as both of these characters are cheaters, it seems to me that Guido repeatedly cheats because he has a major identity crisis, so he doesn't seem to know what do to or what he wants (and plus he's an artiste who is having a mother of a writer's/director's block in the film). Emma Bovary, on the other hand, has affairs because she isn't happy with her marriage as her romantic expectations of what she imagined her marriage to be like were never fulfilled. Both characters have affairs and figuratively drown themselves in fantasies and daydreams, but when it came to arousing scandal, Gustave Flaubert had to go to trial to defend his novel Madame Bovary. I suppose a lot of it has to do with the fact that Madame Bovary was published during the late 1850s, but many different versions of the legend of Don Juan were written way before Madame Bovary was around... so I do think that Madame Bovary's infamous reputation is due to the fact that she is a woman who has done something immoral by societal standards. How come if a wife cheats on her husband, there's actually a term for that husband (cuckhold) who's been cheated on and there isn't a term for a wife who's been cheated on by her husband (at least not that I know of)? There's so many terms with the insinuation that a female's in the wrong when there are fewer terms for men who are in the wrong - such as whore, slut, kept woman, vamp, and temptress.

Greta Garbo in The Temptress (1926) - a role she resented and was typecast as for a while

b) I fell in love... with a library! Los Angeles Public Library to be exact. It is my abbey. I'm going there once a week now. If you want to go exploring there with me, lemme know. 

It is gorgeous, wonderful, resourceful, and CLEAN - just as a man should be. I think some guy in a cap was eye-ing me in the philosophy section last week because I could totally see him facing me in my peripheral view. Boy, if you've got something to say, say it. I don't mind being admired like I was some statue, but after about 30 minutes of being stared at, I get creeped out O_O.


c) I had to (and still have to) pull double shifts taking care of my nephew with my dad because my sister's father-in-law was in the ICU for the past 2-3 weeks... and so her in-laws were not able to help take care of bebe B half of the time like they usually did.


I'm sure there's many more reasons as to why I didn't blog for such a long time - such as overexposing myself to TCM and immersing myself into the world of Tennessee Williams (I'm currently reading Baby Doll / Tiger Tail right now) - but let's get to the little man of 2 (my nephew), shall we?


Friday, April 9th was bebe Brandon's actual birthday but both families (mine and my sister's in-law's) celebrated his birthday Saturday at Seafood Village for some hardcore eating.

lobster. oh gosh, my poor cholesterol level! clog my arteries, why don't you.

don't eat lobster heads! they're chock-full of cholesterol! :( gee, there are two of them in this pic.

bebe B: Mum... I'm baby vampire. I bite into your hand now.

Brandma, bebe mama, and bebe B playing around

"There's more food coming?!"

bebe B looks soo satisfied :0)

bebe daddy, bebe B, and Brandma (on the bebe daddy's side)

things I usually dislike eating: hot Asian desserts.

This time it's red bean soup with tapioca and some other stuff.

This is brand new to me.  

I don't know what this stuff is called but it's like hot mochi with almond flavored rice cake wraps. These things actually taste pretty good.

Flavors from left to right: green tea, sesame, custard, and peanut

I tried a little of each flavor except for sesame (because I'm really not fond of that flavor). The green tea flavor was the best flavor out of the three I tried.

We went back to the bebe's home with full stomachs and lots of leftovers to watch bebe B perform - which is basically strumming the guitar a bit and his interpretation of what singing is.

And oh.... there's ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins!

My sis and I were at Baskin Robbins earlier to pick out a cake for bebe B, and it was between this cake or an equally adorable cupcake themed one. This one fits Brandon's personality best. hehe... it reminds me of bebe B and his big headed lion stuffed animal:

Some birthday cake action after Brandon so eagerly blew out his candles:

I ate. It was a good day. Now I'm tired. I'll leave you with some accidental, artsy pics of Brandon though. bises!