The Chase

Betty Draper in Mad Men 

When it comes to Mad Men, Betty Draper Francis is certainly not an ideal parent. She's like Nora in Ibsen's A Doll's House, or even Daisy in The Great Gatsby, a woman-child who is in serious need of some classes on parenting (Slapping a child for cutting her hair is not the way to go, Bets). She's a terrible mother, and her usual parenting pattern is to scold, say "Don't do that!" to daughter Sally, and act completely clueless about why her daughter is the way she is. However, Betty did deliver one piece of fantastic motherly advice to Sally (which is probably something I'll save for my unborn daughter):
"You don't kiss boys. Boys kiss you." Betty to Sally Draper, Mad Men Season 3, Episode 8 "Souvenir"
Sometimes I wish I had a (Google) translator for things my mother tells me. All those times in high school when she told me not to be friendly towards boys, she meant something else.

 Google, can you translate my mother for me?
Actually, can you translate the opposite sex for me instead?

What she really meant and was unable to articulate is that the good ones will go after you to prove their worth and the bad ones will weed themselves out so please be an ice queen. This also loosely parallels a sidetrack conversation I had with one of my undergrad film profs like a zillion years ago (okay, it was two years ago): all the directors, the legends, the good ones (i.e. Martin Scorsese) will last and have a fruitful lifelong career and all the other bad ones will weed themselves out. It's like saying, "If you're a bad egg, you'll eventually disappear. Poof."

(here I go again, wearing my Carrie Bradshaw hat)
So should all modern women forgo the notion that since both sexes are equal, they should be allowed to initiate plans or make the first move, just so they won't be taken for granted and get treated like crap? Do we all have to resort to the feminine stereotype of playing the waiting damsel just so all of us hetero-females won't be treated as some guy's second best (and not his number one)?

Taylor Swift as a waiting damsel in "Love Story"

I've had guy friends who would bitch and moan (yea boys do bitch, especially manboys) about how they feel the pressure of having to make the first move and it's always so hard when girls don't lend them a hand. At the same time, they are disinterested in perfectly decent female specimens when these girls do show interest in them and "lend a hand." Make up your mind. You can't have the chase and want the other party to do the work for your lazy ass. Those two things are mutually exclusive, boys. Get your act together. It's not rocket science.

The chase is such a mind game. It's basically playing "catch me if you can." I understand why it's there but I don't like it at all.
Catch Me If You Can (2002)

1 comment:

zinya said...

Unfortunately, you'll also weed out those wonderful men who just don't feel they have anything going for them, when they do. I had to chase after mine, and he makes me so happy.